Plain and Simple. I have been a stand-up comic for 13 years. I just want to make as many people laugh as I can everyday. And I am gonna try and have a couple things up everyday. Have fun and please tell your friends.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Women
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
sexting
I really think I missed out being born in the 60's. All this sexting stuff. Back when I was in high school, if you wanted naked footage of a girl you knew. You had to hide a camera and get her drunk. Now girls just send it to you without asking.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Sex and school.
I was just talking to my son about not being a high school freshman next year. I told him the rest of high school is filled with friends, parties and semi-consensual sex. I told him college is even better. I had sex everyday. He said: didn't you go to an online school? I said: yes and most of the sex was with myself, but fun non the less.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Sorry no good posts today.
I spent all day helping a female friend who's car broke down. Took her to work at 4 am.. Picked her up from work. And fixed her car free of charge. And I didn't even get a "Blow Job of Gratitude".
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Purple Suit
I went to a bi-racial wedding this weekend. And I relized something black guys can do, that white guys can't. Wear a purple suit. A black guy looks smooth and in style. I wear a puple suit. I look insane. I would look like someone thats gonna fight Batman.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Pulled over
I got pulled over for running a stop sign. When the cop asked me: "Do you know why I pulled you over?" I said "Because I'm black?" He just stared at me, got in his car and drove off. It was strange. Its a true story. Its funny Because I am blonde with blue eyes.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Manic Depressive
How many manic depressives does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, let them them cry in the dark
Thursday, September 9, 2010
The Elks Lodge
I got drunk @ the Elks Lodge. I had what they were having. I had the Prune Daiquiri. talk about getting shit faced. Without the face.
To Much Porn
I think I've been watching to much porn. The other day I was pumping gas in my truck, when I was almost done I pulled out and sprayed the rest all over the back of the truck.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Kelly Clarkson
I just saw the Kelly Clarkson tour bus drive out of Portland. It was either that or a cattle truck. Not sure. I did see a herffer or two.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
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